Daddy's Little Girl no more...

I'm better, but at night a million thoughts come rushing to my head. Today was pretty good i have nothing to complain about, really, but my head feels like it will explode if
i don't write something down.

Last night I had a dream, an odd dream. All over the news was some kind of Chinese Aircraft circulating the skies saying that they were monitoring everything we were doing. For some reason we were doomed and we had to get to the U.S. to be safe. In the dream I was running away with my family, but for some reason my mother wasn't there. We were in some big truck and my dad was driving it. We then went to my grandma's house and then we got to the states and everything was safe....pecuiller....

Today was good...it was...I put on a happy face even after. I went to my dads house with a couple of my friends, we went biking and when I went back to the house my dad was finally home. I asked for a ride home etc...any of my wants rejected. I couldn't stand being there, I wanted to break down into tears, but I didn't and i left with my friends.
No remorse? No guilt? I wasn't convinced before but I'm convinced now my father has no soul. He's selfish... I'm just, I'm just stunned. I want nothing more than to yell at my dad how much I hate him, but I'm afraid of his indifference, I'm afraid that he doesn't care at all.
Am I just being too sensitive? I used to be daddy's little girl, but he'll probably move on and have a new family. Have children he'll actually love and care about. That's truthfully been my biggest fear. I remember reading the Sisterhood of the Travelling pants and reading about how Carmens father found a new family. I remember thinking to myself how much i would hate my father if he did that and how I would never forgive him. Well perfect, the situations in front of me now.
I haven't told anyone how i really feel, I know my moms kind of guessing, she's bring really nice to me right now. I just pretend I'm fine and I guess everyone around me buys it, which is what I want. I haven't told anyone close t me how i feel, I don't want too. I just want to scream and shout and get over it and live my life.
I just want it to go away..........I just want to go away........
Dad if you ever read this or some how find this, Ijust want you to know I hate you.