betrayed....broken hallelujah

I think this just might be my longest blog post.
I don't know where to start or what to say, but I guess I'll start here. It was a painful bus ride, with my sunglasses covering my face and my tears pouring out behind them. Tears of shock and betrayl that I have never felt before, even when my dad cheated on my mom. This one took the cake, this was finally the blade to pierce me. My dad got married. Without any of us knowing, with some woman he barely knows, in some far off country. She's basically a mail order bride my dad picked as a febble attempt to get over the manipulative bitch he cheated with.

The woman who started it all is a man eating gold digger. Oppertunist some might say, but a home wrecker to me! I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for her! I'd be in the home I grew up in if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have any complaint if it wasn't for her! My brother wouldn't have to grow up the way he is, he wouldn't be such an attention seeker. Yes as much as I could keep on blaming her it isn't going to do anything. I've accepted it from the beginning, maybe because I was to naive to really hate the bitch or to understand that what I had was good. Its over it's done.

That's only one side of the story. The home wrecker has a family of her own, her ex husband hides the secret of her infidelity too, from their children. The kids grew up spot free, blaming their dad. Their son one day has a break down and has to go to the hospital. Since he doesn't understand the whole situation he turned bi-polar or something like that. He forced his parents together. for his own happiness. Wrecking my life even more.

Unfortunately the story gets even more messed up. My mother was seeing the home wreckers husband. He is like his ex wife a GOLD DIGGER! My mom spent so much money on him! She put him through engineering school, she bought him a laptop, she paid for every little thing he wanted! When the home wrecker and her husband were forced back together it killed both my parents.

For the next few months I caught my dad on foriegn dating sights. I'm guessing thats where he found his mail order bride. Now you know some of my story.

it hurts.
I hate that my parents had me, when they didn't want me. I'm only alive, because of my mothers moral and faith. I never asked to be here. I'm the only one in my family who hasn't been to a shrink yet. I guess I have a good head on my shoulders, but I just want to rant.
I hate my dad, I hate him so much! For loving someone else's children more than he loved his own. I hate him for only loving himself. He doesn't care that there are people who love him and don't want to see him throw his life away to some unkown woman. Does he not feel guilty, I used to think my dad had a soul and actual feelings. i used to think he actually really cared. But he doesn't, it's only money for him. It's only what he wants......My life feels like it always has to bend for other peoples wants. Not even for my own.
I'm just so mad! i don't know why. Mad and sad.cI just want to yell at my dad and every other person who has wronged me.

running off to some other place could help too.

Well now you know this stuff doesn't just happen in movies, it happens in real life too.
I haven't even seen who my dad's new wife is. Probably some young gold digger who got lucky and found her ticket to Canada. i already hate her. I want nothing to do with her. I want nothing to do with any potential children they might have. I could give a fuck less about my stupid inheiritance. Take it all. I already have nothing left.