I want it all♥ but it's driving me crazy.

The process of achievment is a long strenuous task. I'm literally driving my self insane, with the stress crawling out my ears and infesting my body. It's taking over and It's hard to rid of it. It's almost impossible to rid myself of wanting to achieve well. Unfortunately my wants go against my nature, for I have always been the go-with-the-flow type. Now the contradiction of who I am and what I want is driving me mad.
In an analogy I'm like Blair Waldorf, trying at the last minute to get good marks in school so i can go to a good university. At the same time i'm also looking for familiarity, but since everything this year is new I'm lost and I feel betrayed by my former friends. I feel forgotten and unwated. I'm alone to fend for myself.